Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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