actually, I'm a sock model
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
