please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
