Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize