I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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