I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
