Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Randomize
