okay pat passed out under dana's car
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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