I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
