Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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