New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
