dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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