She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
