I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
