yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
