get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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