Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My bed smells like the plague
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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