I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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