Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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