some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
