Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
