So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
well you can't waste a boner
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
