so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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