Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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