Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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