guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
