I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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