Moan for me like Helen Keller
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize