dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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