I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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