threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
