She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
