lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do herpes really smell.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
