Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am available for nakedness
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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