I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
