Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
