Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
