if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
