i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
