i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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