How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
