so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
