I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
