Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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