i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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