Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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