once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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