You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize