My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
