so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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