So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize