the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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