What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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