I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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