Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
