This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
