loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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