I think my vagina is haunted
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
