what if every blade of grass was a penis?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
