they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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