Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
