I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
